


Take, Take Me Home

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s02e18 17 People, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-25
Updated: 2006-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-30 11:40:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15095963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: After the events of17 People, Donna 'fessesup about why she lied to Josh about leaving Dr.Freeride and why she chose now to tell him.





	Take, Take Me Home

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

 

TITLE: Our Two Consciences: Take, Take Me Home (1/1)  
AUTHOR: Laurel A. -- Love that  
feedback!  
SPOILERS: Everything up to, and including, 17 People.  
RATING: PG  
DISCLAIMER: All these persons, places, and things  
(love that Schoolhouse Rock!) belong to Aaron Sorkin  
and some other folks too, but not me.  
ARCHIVE: Archive anyplace, just let me know.  
SUMMARY: After the events of 17 People, Donna fesses  
up about why she lied to Josh about leaving Dr.  
Freeride and why she chose now to tell him.  
AUTHORS NOTE: Thanks, as always to Michelle, who had  
to suffer through 3 extra days of waiting to see this  
episode thanks to a weird sport that involves tall  
guys in shorts putting a ball into a hoop thing. The  
title of this piece comes from the Phil Collins song,  
"Take Me Home." 

This is the next installment in the Josh/Donna Post-Ep  
POV series, Our Two Consciences by Michelle Hoffmann  
and myself (although you don't have to have read any  
of the others to jump on in now): 

Roles by Laurel A.  
Masks by Michelle H.  
Donna Moss Talks About Sex and Joey Lucas by Laurel A.  
Josh Lyman Talks About Strategy by Michelle H.  
Late At Night In The Soft Warm Glow by Laurel A.  
Perfect Clarity by Michelle H.  
I Confess by Laurel A.  
Static Electricity by Michelle H.  
Change, Gratitude, and the Heartbreak Turtles by  
Laurel A.  
Transformation by Michelle H.  
Filibusters, Falls, and Feline Avengers by Michelle H.  
Bast, a Bowler, and Bucking for a Promotion by Laurel  
A.

Okay, okay, okay, so I _may_ have left out a few  
details when I told you about leaving Wisconsin after  
being dumped by Dr. Freeride. It's possible I forgot  
to tell you that I went back to him. But, it is  
really something I would just as soon like to forget.  
In fact, it would also make me happy if Josh forgot as  
well. 

The aspect of the story I choose to concentrate on is  
the coming back to the campaign part. As recovering  
alcoholics say, "A slip is not a fall." The way I  
look at it, going back to Brian was a bit of a slip �  
an ironic metaphor, since rather than telling everyone  
that I was in a car accident, I told them that I had  
slipped on some ice on my front walkway. 

Some people believe that getting sick or injured is  
never an accident or a random twist of fate. And I  
believe there was a reason I was in that car crash, I  
was meant to be in that car crash, I needed to be in  
that car crash. 

I am not saying I purposely drove into a tree or  
anything, but I do think my sub-conscious helped me  
get hurt. It was the catalyst for a series of events  
and decisions that have helped me get to where I am  
now, and to _who_ I am now. Events and decisions like  
Brian stopping for a beer on the way to pick me up  
from the hospital, and me leaving him for good. 

After the wreck, as soon as I was able, I went back to  
New Hampshire; I was back on my feet, physically and  
emotionally. Leaving Wisconsin and returning to the  
Bartlet campaign felt like I was going home; and it  
was so much less about a change in geography than it  
was about a change in me. 

I didn't know what I was going to say about what had  
happened. I was embarrassed to have anyone know that  
the old boyfriend who wanted me back, the one I was so  
sure had changed, had just demonstrated all too  
clearly, that he really was all those horrible things  
that Josh thought he was in the first place. 

As it turned out, I didn't have to say anything. Josh  
never asked. He never missed a beat when I walked  
back in. It was like I had never left; and that's how  
I wanted it to be. 

He assumed, and I let him believe it, that Dr.  
Freeride had dumped me again. But he never said a  
word about it. Since then, he's acted as if I had  
never come and gone, but rather, that I simply came to  
him in April and never left. Which, I guess is sweet  
in its own way, but still, he should really just  
listen to me and remember that I came into his life in  
February. 

That is the way I want to remember it; that I came to  
him in February and never went back to Dr. Freeride.  
There were things I learned about myself when I was  
with the campaign in February and early March, things  
that, had I never been there, might not have helped me  
have the chutzpah to leave Brian for good in April  
(see, I can bring the Yiddish just as much as the next  
girl). There are also things about that time I don't  
want to erase, because they are a part of my history  
with Josh. 

One of those things was telling him that his father  
had passed away. As morose as it is, I hold onto that  
as a precious memory. It was a surreal thing, feeling  
the elation of winning the Illinois Primary, which all  
but assured Bartlet the nomination, and seconds later  
having to deliver that awful news to Josh. 

Making the flight arrangements and helping him pack  
his things for the trip to Connecticut seem like a  
blur, but looking Josh in the eye and telling him that  
his Dad had died is crystal clear. Moments like that  
in your life, learning about the death of a parent,  
you never forget. I am glad I was there; and I want  
him to be holding onto that memory as part of our  
history as well. 

Nevertheless, every year on April 4th Josh gets me  
flowers as a reminder that I left the campaign and  
went eagerly back to Dr. Freeride, like a the good  
little co-dependent girlfriend. Okay, so this may not  
be his actual intent, but that is the effect. 

He knows that my start date is a point of contention  
between us, and you would think that after 2 years of  
telling him, and telling him loudly, that he's got the  
date wrong, that he'd know better than to send flowers  
in April. I think he got the message today though,  
thanks to a little hostility. Nothing like some  
hostility, misplaced anger, and a smack in the back of  
the head to bring people closer together. 

At this point I have settled into an okay place with  
how I feel about him. I have gotten beyond, "Oh my  
god I like him; I wonder if he likes me too," and  
settled into to, "What ever happens, happens; besides,  
we work at the White House, who has time for this kind  
of thing?" I've been feeling a sort of freedom in  
admitting my feelings to myself and in getting to this  
stage -- a freedom to be really belligerent about the  
flowers. 

Okay, so my hostility about the flowers probably also  
had a smidge to do with having feelings for Josh, but  
who's counting anyway? 

And darn him for turning on the charm tonight, using  
"an" correctly, tilting his head with the half smile  
and the dimples. Darn him for catching my eye and  
holding my gaze longer than he needed to when he  
confirmed for Ainsley that the flowers were a sore  
subject for me. Darn him for looking like he actually  
felt bad when Sam spilled my history all over the  
conference room. And darn him one more time, for  
coming around to my side of the table and sitting next  
to me afterwards, like that was where he belonged. 

My actions this evening were also motivated by the  
most idiotic fortune I have ever gotten from a fortune  
cookie. It read, "All human wisdom is summed up in  
two words: wait and hope." What a crock. My silent  
rebuttal to this asinine slip of paper was that thing  
Dalai Lama says about how we should "approach love and  
cooking with reckless abandon." 

So, I decided to be reckless and not only spill the  
beans about Dr. Freeride, but also to tell Josh that  
he is the better man. Then I really got reckless and  
told him that thing about not stopping for red lights. 

But he asked for it. Really. He was the one pushing  
the flower thing all day, way more than our standard  
annual flower-banter. This year he wouldn't let it  
go, like he was purposely trying to get a reaction out  
of me. Prince of Passive-Aggressive was looking for a  
reason to banter with me. Hey, he was pulling MY  
pigtails! 

And I walked right into it. All inspired by the Dalai  
Lama and wound up by my hostility, I pushed it on  
purpose too, just like he was pushing. 

I guess I knew all day, deep down, that the way we  
were acting was going to lead up to that moment.  
Kneeling on the floor in his office looking at him all  
backlit by those soft warm incandescent lights, I felt  
a sense of calm purpose come over me and I knew that  
the moment had come, "Josh, Josh, Josh. Joshua, Josh,  
Josh." 

I realized that it was important to me for him to know  
the truth about the circumstances of my return, and  
how glad I was that he took me back. And I needed to  
do it in a way that left no doubt about the difference  
between Dr. Freeride taking me back and Josh taking me  
back. 

When Brian asked me to come back, I went back hopeful  
that he had truly realized what he'd done wrong in the  
relationship. I went back to him feeling guilty about  
moving 7 states away, gaining some independence, and  
starting to become my own woman. When I went back to  
Josh, I went with no expectations and no guilt; but  
rather, willingly and purposefully. 

Note to self: Figure out when both Josh and I (and  
Sam for that matter) stopped talking about me coming  
back to my position with the Bartlet campaign and  
started talking about me coming back to Josh. When  
did it turn from being about the job to being about  
us? 

And let me just point out here that I am no Ado Annie.  
Who does he think he is with the Rodgers and  
Hammerstein references? I ain't no girl who "cain't  
say no." But, it does raise the question of whether  
Josh puts himself in the role of the  
pining-away-for-Annie, Will Parker. 

And do you think he's actually pictured me in a  
Catholic school uniform? 

END

  


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